how lower-case the feeling is, at the moment. this song rightly haunts me:
it's like i got nothing... but it's just fine.
faretheewell folk,
-LaW
5 months ago
Showing posts with label Daily Log. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daily Log. Show all posts
Monday, May 17, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Day 263... ("And then you do both; I can't do both...")
There's something about this: this things-going-on-simultaneously. And nearby there is something about the gaping absence of women in all of these official goings-on, except for atop the cover of the magazines, covering the tale this time. Laugh! You need to redefine the concept of beauty in order for it to fit you.
I don't understand... I like being so separate. We are arbitrary and irreparable--like the smell of pine on my palm and the utter listlessness of a waning light; like pursed lips in anticipation, waiting to flinch. Is it lyrical, at least, the meaning beyond the words?
(Indeed, like grinning men in beat-up cars—-wearing glasses and looking straight ahead. Like tiny-tiny girls as cute as this—-muttering with a purpose. Oh! Like skateboarding ladies, too! Holding on strong with one hand, tattooed calves painted.)
There is this feeling of gratitude; of indebtedness that cannot be articulated, let alone undone, in which we dwell by virtue of existence alone. Life, this world we have for our experience as a thing that will not be spent by any one of us; it is our unification of sorts, or else the basest of all common ground. There is a sense of willingness without shame or lasting doubt. It is a matter of knowledge, decided upon. As in the person within the friend you chose to make; how you wanted to understand their eyes but not those of the faces before.
(Seems interesting, this guy...still life is just the same, redundant breath. And people always have something to say for themselves! But he's soft--too, too soft.)
What's so wrong about belief for its own sake? Why should the value of the pursuit of an irrevocable truth outweigh that of the ideal of contentment, when life is this finite and neither are guaranteed?
Consider the weight of a fitful sleep, for instance. Where are we when we're in between? And how is dissatisfaction this complete if what we think we want is the truth? Fuck that. Where we go has nothing to do with destinations; where we're from has nothing to do with time. Momentary and fleeting truth is not of inherently less worth—-its fallback is quarantined in the limits we put on how much value we're willing to expend, as if its supply could be just so and not a calculated decree. As if we weren't unequivocally aware of our intentions, and ever-willing to deny them entirely, voice. (Distinction?)
(Hmmm...iwishcouldresemblethechordofapiano...one that sounds like this...)
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
I don't understand... I like being so separate. We are arbitrary and irreparable--like the smell of pine on my palm and the utter listlessness of a waning light; like pursed lips in anticipation, waiting to flinch. Is it lyrical, at least, the meaning beyond the words?
(Indeed, like grinning men in beat-up cars—-wearing glasses and looking straight ahead. Like tiny-tiny girls as cute as this—-muttering with a purpose. Oh! Like skateboarding ladies, too! Holding on strong with one hand, tattooed calves painted.)
There is this feeling of gratitude; of indebtedness that cannot be articulated, let alone undone, in which we dwell by virtue of existence alone. Life, this world we have for our experience as a thing that will not be spent by any one of us; it is our unification of sorts, or else the basest of all common ground. There is a sense of willingness without shame or lasting doubt. It is a matter of knowledge, decided upon. As in the person within the friend you chose to make; how you wanted to understand their eyes but not those of the faces before.
(Seems interesting, this guy...still life is just the same, redundant breath. And people always have something to say for themselves! But he's soft--too, too soft.)
What's so wrong about belief for its own sake? Why should the value of the pursuit of an irrevocable truth outweigh that of the ideal of contentment, when life is this finite and neither are guaranteed?
Consider the weight of a fitful sleep, for instance. Where are we when we're in between? And how is dissatisfaction this complete if what we think we want is the truth? Fuck that. Where we go has nothing to do with destinations; where we're from has nothing to do with time. Momentary and fleeting truth is not of inherently less worth—-its fallback is quarantined in the limits we put on how much value we're willing to expend, as if its supply could be just so and not a calculated decree. As if we weren't unequivocally aware of our intentions, and ever-willing to deny them entirely, voice. (Distinction?)
(Hmmm...iwishcouldresemblethechordofapiano...one that sounds like this...)
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Day 260!? Just shoot me now, yo.
Whatevs. A mere five days and counting and then my final final of the year shall be a distant memory, drowned out by the sweet nectar of celebratory alcohol, i do reckon. Such a difficult task to not see that brightest light at the end of this narrow tunnel, and thereby keep by my side that bit of healthy terror that does wonders for my ability to focus. It's CRUNCH-TIME folks! And only now does it finally dawn on me how woefully nonsensical Civil Procedure really, truly, ridiculously is...
THERE IS NO GENERAL FEDERAL COMMON LAW!! What I want to know is, what cruel sadist got to decide that such an awfully vague sentence ought to dictate the entire evolution of "federal subject-matter jurisdiction", anyway?! Shouldn't all of us fresh new law students be taught not to revere such a lucid example of obscurity, but rather to strive forever against the temptation of delving into it? Even if it DOES mean admitting that no one in this whole gawdamned profession knows exactly what anyone else is talking about, at any given moment... I mean, come on now!! Whaddaya say we all up and grow some proverbial balls, my dear fellow jurists!!?
Geez-louise. But anyway! I think that's all the ranting I have time for. And now, back to the grinding stone I go...
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
P.S. Happy Mother's Day!! =P
Friday, April 30, 2010
Day 251: Fifteen minutes till procrastination becomes abomination.
("Baby don't look so nervous, they just want the facts, and it's all written out in the USA Patriot Act..." -A.M.)
Speaking of which, do you have any idea how many laws there really are in this here free country of ours? Something like "hundreds of thousands", and of those over 4,000 are crimes. Craziness? In Sweden there is a single volume containing the entire criminal code of the country. Of course, there's quite a size difference between the nations...but should that make a difference in determining the scope of crimes against society?
And what of the danger of becoming lost in the massive mountains of volume upon volume of statutes? Do you realize that not only is it virtually impossible for a person to live out their life in America WITHOUT breaking at least one of these laws--but even more ridiculous is the tiny percentage of people who ever actually recognize that they've done so. Isn't this a little bit silly? (To walk the line of the inarticulate!) What I mean is, what's the point of such heavy regulation when it hardly keeps people from committing crimes? The result is just that whenever someone who gives a shit happens to come across a person who happens to be committing a random little arbitrary crime without even realizing it, well, the Government gets to spend (strike that: all but HAS to spend) our nice, neat tax dollars to persecute the poor sucker. Cuz after all, "ignorance of law is no excuse"...
But anyways. When it comes down to it, i have two weeks from today to slalom through to the end of my final exams of my final quarter of my first year of law school. And what have i to show for it? An overinflated sense of importance imbued on four otherwise inconspicuous mornings, and a disproportionate amount of stress aimed at these ephemeral days and the tests they represent--rather than at the reality of the mess of law represented by the tests themselves, and the fact that i myself am bound to adhere to the content of each one, and so much more besides. As are most of you, I imagine. And the difference? Maybe just that I'm learning how to name all of those old, nameless worries...
Nah. It's mostly just me being dramatic, I'm sure. And uncharacteristically stressed out. Well, not that, exactly... More like uncharacteristically recognizing the dire need to let the stress come, for to induce action. But instead I'm just watching it brood out there on the outskirts of my daily life, as we count down toward (clear) transition. And like always it's just me, just here, still saying to it 'tomorrow'. "Tomorrow you can come riddle me some! Today I'm too busy listening to the loveliness of these sad songs..."
("And my body, by the letter of the law, is still my own when I lay down in the darkness, unburdened and alone..." -A.M.)
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Speaking of which, do you have any idea how many laws there really are in this here free country of ours? Something like "hundreds of thousands", and of those over 4,000 are crimes. Craziness? In Sweden there is a single volume containing the entire criminal code of the country. Of course, there's quite a size difference between the nations...but should that make a difference in determining the scope of crimes against society?
And what of the danger of becoming lost in the massive mountains of volume upon volume of statutes? Do you realize that not only is it virtually impossible for a person to live out their life in America WITHOUT breaking at least one of these laws--but even more ridiculous is the tiny percentage of people who ever actually recognize that they've done so. Isn't this a little bit silly? (To walk the line of the inarticulate!) What I mean is, what's the point of such heavy regulation when it hardly keeps people from committing crimes? The result is just that whenever someone who gives a shit happens to come across a person who happens to be committing a random little arbitrary crime without even realizing it, well, the Government gets to spend (strike that: all but HAS to spend) our nice, neat tax dollars to persecute the poor sucker. Cuz after all, "ignorance of law is no excuse"...
But anyways. When it comes down to it, i have two weeks from today to slalom through to the end of my final exams of my final quarter of my first year of law school. And what have i to show for it? An overinflated sense of importance imbued on four otherwise inconspicuous mornings, and a disproportionate amount of stress aimed at these ephemeral days and the tests they represent--rather than at the reality of the mess of law represented by the tests themselves, and the fact that i myself am bound to adhere to the content of each one, and so much more besides. As are most of you, I imagine. And the difference? Maybe just that I'm learning how to name all of those old, nameless worries...
Nah. It's mostly just me being dramatic, I'm sure. And uncharacteristically stressed out. Well, not that, exactly... More like uncharacteristically recognizing the dire need to let the stress come, for to induce action. But instead I'm just watching it brood out there on the outskirts of my daily life, as we count down toward (clear) transition. And like always it's just me, just here, still saying to it 'tomorrow'. "Tomorrow you can come riddle me some! Today I'm too busy listening to the loveliness of these sad songs..."
("And my body, by the letter of the law, is still my own when I lay down in the darkness, unburdened and alone..." -A.M.)
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Where are we now...Day 232 or so? Shit! But who the heck gives one, anyway?
And so it's way deep into the bowels of this experience. April, now, and 11th to be sure. How did we get here from there so quickly, I wonder? Not November by any means, but rather watching the coming of the Spring sneak forward. And oh how we can tell its arrival out here! From the rising temperatures of 67 to 91 in the space of three measly hours! To the bloom of green affording us a wonderland that has nothing to do with Winter, anymore. Sigh... If only the soft sweetness of superficial (change) were enough for me, now...
But it's not. And I daily strive further on to complete what I've started nearly a year ago, somehow. i know I'm jumping the gun, but it feels so much longer than that anyhow! Last week brought me dizziness in perpetuity, as I'd never been courted before. 'Twas frightful!! And today, since Tuesday, was the first that it's left me abandoned at last--and need i even say 'grateful' at all? Well I'm grate-fuckin'-ful, for sure. (Note for the concerned or curious public: don't underestimate dehydration, even when wine or liquor look you in both of your watery eyes...)
I'm applying for transfer to schools in California. It's not that I don't appreciate the exhaustion of newness--it's just that it'll only take me so far. And lately I've been thinking I'm already there. So as far as stints go...let's all vote for this one to nearly be over! (Happily so, but good riddance, regardless.)
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
But it's not. And I daily strive further on to complete what I've started nearly a year ago, somehow. i know I'm jumping the gun, but it feels so much longer than that anyhow! Last week brought me dizziness in perpetuity, as I'd never been courted before. 'Twas frightful!! And today, since Tuesday, was the first that it's left me abandoned at last--and need i even say 'grateful' at all? Well I'm grate-fuckin'-ful, for sure. (Note for the concerned or curious public: don't underestimate dehydration, even when wine or liquor look you in both of your watery eyes...)
I'm applying for transfer to schools in California. It's not that I don't appreciate the exhaustion of newness--it's just that it'll only take me so far. And lately I've been thinking I'm already there. So as far as stints go...let's all vote for this one to nearly be over! (Happily so, but good riddance, regardless.)
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Fastforward: Day 78 to Day 82...
Okay, I'm back. But I'm not gonna go back and try to catch up. Basically, it's crunch-time folks. Yes, yes, technically exams aren't until the second week of December (which is dagnam frankly bad enough!!), but considering the fact that I still have a 10-page paper, 4 outlines to finish, daily homework plus catch up for classes I'm missing, and all to get done before a plane ride to catch a mere week from tomorrow!? Do-able?: yes. Craziness?: also in the affirmative.
I know, i know, I bring these things upon myself. Nothing new there. Nonetheless, it's also a gosh darn reason to prematurely end this post, if i ever did hear one!
Faretheewe--
I know, i know, I bring these things upon myself. Nothing new there. Nonetheless, it's also a gosh darn reason to prematurely end this post, if i ever did hear one!
Faretheewe--
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Day 77...
So I'm getting used to this chili, a little bit. While Mike was here he held my hand and led me through the mechanics of several gorgeously home-made dinner dishes. Among these was a vegan chili with fresh corn and broccoli; a coconut-based stir fry with curry and sweet potatoes; and an astonishing veggie lasagna. Now that I've been left to my own devices (and all of his delectable left-overs have been summarily consumed) I decided to try my own hand at that silly little chili we'd mulled over together. Not entirely disastrous, I have to say...but there's still time to be proven wrong.
Everything started out smoothly: a can of red and a can of black beans; firm tofu sauteed in garlic and butter; a perfect-sized yellow pepper; and herbs & spices such as you'd never think possible (and perhaps for good reason), such as fresh basil; crushed red pepper; ground black peppercorn; salt; brown sugar; cayenne pepper; Parmesan cheese; and perhaps other things... The real problem (besides my complete lack of understanding when it comes to complimentary flavors) reared its ornery head when I joyously opened the vodka spaghetti sauce to use as a base. The damn thing had been stubbornly fixed shut since we'd bought it two weeks ago, which is the only reason i hadn't already found an excuse to devour it. So jubilant was I when I managed to open the crazy jar without the help of man or woman alike, that I'd already poured in half its contents before off-handedly dipping a finger into the excess on the dabbled lid. When I brought the cursed finger to my suddenly dismayed mouth, I was shocked with what i tasted!!
Perhaps it was just the fact that this new brand of vodka sauce was unfortunately inferior to others out there...or perhaps it had more to do with the fact that it was a cream-base (kinda strange for a chili)...but whatever the reason that got my skepticism a-growling, I directed my gaze to the top of the lid. Partially obscured by stickers indicating price per product, I noticed the tell-tale numbers of the "Use by" date. Peeling the stickers back with my thumb-nail, horror dawned as my eyes gradually communicated to my mind the numbers' true meaning. They read: 4/28/2009...almost seven months expired. Son of a bitch!
Too late, the guilty sauce mingled and disappeared inside every other ingredient, infiltrating to the very bottom of that god-forsaken pan and tainting the promise of a perfectly legitimate & fully independent vegetarian chili. "Well, I'll be damned," I thought, "I really have managed to fuck-up a fool-proof dish..."
Ah well! Despite the worrisome expiration date, the sauce didn't taste weird in a GONE BAD sorta way, more like a vaguely strange spice-selection kinda way. So what the heck? I figured I'd finish cooking the freakin' thing, at least. And since i finished cooking it, i figured I'd better give it a fair chance by trying it out too--and frankly, I AM getting used to it, now that I've eaten half a bowl. So now I figure I'll just go ahead and eat the other half--cuz what's life without a little risk? But just for the record, if I die, be sure to sue Garden Gourmet for me. That way my short law career won't have been a complete waste. =P
Faretheewell folk!,
-LaW
Everything started out smoothly: a can of red and a can of black beans; firm tofu sauteed in garlic and butter; a perfect-sized yellow pepper; and herbs & spices such as you'd never think possible (and perhaps for good reason), such as fresh basil; crushed red pepper; ground black peppercorn; salt; brown sugar; cayenne pepper; Parmesan cheese; and perhaps other things... The real problem (besides my complete lack of understanding when it comes to complimentary flavors) reared its ornery head when I joyously opened the vodka spaghetti sauce to use as a base. The damn thing had been stubbornly fixed shut since we'd bought it two weeks ago, which is the only reason i hadn't already found an excuse to devour it. So jubilant was I when I managed to open the crazy jar without the help of man or woman alike, that I'd already poured in half its contents before off-handedly dipping a finger into the excess on the dabbled lid. When I brought the cursed finger to my suddenly dismayed mouth, I was shocked with what i tasted!!
Perhaps it was just the fact that this new brand of vodka sauce was unfortunately inferior to others out there...or perhaps it had more to do with the fact that it was a cream-base (kinda strange for a chili)...but whatever the reason that got my skepticism a-growling, I directed my gaze to the top of the lid. Partially obscured by stickers indicating price per product, I noticed the tell-tale numbers of the "Use by" date. Peeling the stickers back with my thumb-nail, horror dawned as my eyes gradually communicated to my mind the numbers' true meaning. They read: 4/28/2009...almost seven months expired. Son of a bitch!
Too late, the guilty sauce mingled and disappeared inside every other ingredient, infiltrating to the very bottom of that god-forsaken pan and tainting the promise of a perfectly legitimate & fully independent vegetarian chili. "Well, I'll be damned," I thought, "I really have managed to fuck-up a fool-proof dish..."
Ah well! Despite the worrisome expiration date, the sauce didn't taste weird in a GONE BAD sorta way, more like a vaguely strange spice-selection kinda way. So what the heck? I figured I'd finish cooking the freakin' thing, at least. And since i finished cooking it, i figured I'd better give it a fair chance by trying it out too--and frankly, I AM getting used to it, now that I've eaten half a bowl. So now I figure I'll just go ahead and eat the other half--cuz what's life without a little risk? But just for the record, if I die, be sure to sue Garden Gourmet for me. That way my short law career won't have been a complete waste. =P
Faretheewell folk!,
-LaW
Friday, November 6, 2009
Day 76...
Ahhh, the sketchy-mellow return of Friday...again, with the false sense of security. False or not, it's feeling freakin' great. I did a ridiculously little (says the slowly dawning terror) amount of homework today, and class was even kinda a wash. Goals for the weekend: 1) Write my crazy final paper so I can get the damn thing turned in by Tuesday and jet-lag myself all the way to happy Japan; and 2) Get together a decent resume and adequate beg-letters as prep for finding a Summer internship...preferably in Cali? (Is that too freakin' lame for words? ... Nope!!)
But beyond the hullabaloo of the upcoming weekend (wherein KATIE will be present again in my daily life, starting tomorrow night and lasting out the whole gorgeous week!!), tonight was marvelous. A friend from school had her 30th birthday hang-session tonight, (incidentally, also her 30th birthday! And don't worry, of course I made her cookies...till, like, 2 in the morning last night, in fact...all that high-energy slavery revolution talk, I guess, :) so she invited a few folks out to a bar/venue on the lower east side called The Living Room, where a friend that she hadn't seen for 12 years would be performing: Malcom Rollick, formerly known as 'Christie'.
Anyway, i'm fading (and freakin' cold!!) now, but the night was "AwesomE"--good hippie-folk-music; great law-students-and-others-trying-not-to-talk-about-law-school conversation. Can't ask for much more than that, as far as unwinding goes...until, of course, the winding back up starts again. But we'll certainly save that for tomorrow, eh!?
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
But beyond the hullabaloo of the upcoming weekend (wherein KATIE will be present again in my daily life, starting tomorrow night and lasting out the whole gorgeous week!!), tonight was marvelous. A friend from school had her 30th birthday hang-session tonight, (incidentally, also her 30th birthday! And don't worry, of course I made her cookies...till, like, 2 in the morning last night, in fact...all that high-energy slavery revolution talk, I guess, :) so she invited a few folks out to a bar/venue on the lower east side called The Living Room, where a friend that she hadn't seen for 12 years would be performing: Malcom Rollick, formerly known as 'Christie'.
Anyway, i'm fading (and freakin' cold!!) now, but the night was "AwesomE"--good hippie-folk-music; great law-students-and-others-trying-not-to-talk-about-law-school conversation. Can't ask for much more than that, as far as unwinding goes...until, of course, the winding back up starts again. But we'll certainly save that for tomorrow, eh!?
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Day 75...
You'll never believe what went down tonight! Check this out: those posters I helped to partially design for the Women's Association of Law Students a week or so back was for an event that happened tonight. And it was freakin' phenomenal. You wouldn't believe what kinda human trafficking (aka: slavery) is going on under our very noses right as we speak!! The three top doozies: 1) Domestic Servitude; 2) Agricultural Labor; 3) Forced Prostitution. And I'm not even talking in a metaphorical sense, like, "Dude, you know those under-paid workers, dude? Well, like, they're like slaves, man..." No! That's not how i mean it, I mean it like real-live legit slavery, in the guise of the mundane. What does an African boys' church choir, a group of deaf Mexicans, a troop of Chinese acrobats, and a hair-weaving beauty salon set of braiders have in common? Slavery!! Look it up, yo: The Slave Next Door & Very Young Girls. This here's some wack shiznit, lemme tell ya. It made me momentarily stoked about lawyerism by the end of the night, too, when I found out that the ACLU is currently in a suit against the U.S. government for handing budgeting allocation for the whole government-funded public interest sector to a big crazy Catholic organization!! Church and state, people: separate!! Anyway, there's my nightly rant. Needless to say I'm all kindsa psyched up... (Admittedly, not exactly an uber-difficult task for me, but still...this is some crazy shit for being all-the-too-true.) "But anyway. Um, uh, yeah."Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Day 74...
Okay, so we're gonna be cheating here. I don't know why the obsession, but when I call it a 'daily log', somehow it seems infinitely better to me to post-date and catch up rather than just skip days and make the next post fantabulous. It's super silly, too, cuz either way I'm not really posting every day...
But that shall change!! I'm back on the band wagon, and it all started with Wednesday!! I mean, today... So get this, Wednesday is a gorgeously free day: rather than two nerve-wracking classes to prepare for, there's just one, see. And it's the AFTERNOON one, too, so none of this early morning crap. Unfortunately, the effect of all this free time is the false sense of security that leads to sleeping it away. I get all comfy in the notion that a free morning is a long morning, brimming with time aplenty to sleep and do the rest of the week's homework and laundry and letters to long-lost loved ones. In reality, alls you really got time for is to wake up slightly later than usual, walk the dog, and take an extra long shower before it's time to go anyway--and still you get there 10 minutes late. Psha!!
Still, it WAS lovely outside today, even though it blows having to share the bed with the dog again. (Don't tell her I said that.) But keep in mind--suddenly my definition of 'lovely' has expanded to include 50 degree weather days...a bad sign, I be thinking. Nonetheless!
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
But that shall change!! I'm back on the band wagon, and it all started with Wednesday!! I mean, today... So get this, Wednesday is a gorgeously free day: rather than two nerve-wracking classes to prepare for, there's just one, see. And it's the AFTERNOON one, too, so none of this early morning crap. Unfortunately, the effect of all this free time is the false sense of security that leads to sleeping it away. I get all comfy in the notion that a free morning is a long morning, brimming with time aplenty to sleep and do the rest of the week's homework and laundry and letters to long-lost loved ones. In reality, alls you really got time for is to wake up slightly later than usual, walk the dog, and take an extra long shower before it's time to go anyway--and still you get there 10 minutes late. Psha!!
Still, it WAS lovely outside today, even though it blows having to share the bed with the dog again. (Don't tell her I said that.) But keep in mind--suddenly my definition of 'lovely' has expanded to include 50 degree weather days...a bad sign, I be thinking. Nonetheless!
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Day 73...
(Mike's birthday!!) And the grind is back in full force for me, after a blissful weekend. Then it dawns on me: Japan is 17 days away!!? That's crazy talk. The two bullet points still to check off (besides the money-planning factor) is 1) Sierra in my absence, and 2) figuring my truck situation out... Besides that: Outlines! Legal Papers! Katie & Man coming up on Saturday!!! And of course, the everyday rush of homework stuffs...
This afternoon was actually a total wash: Mentally satisfying in that I cleaned and organized the whole freakin' mess of an apartment--but at the same time, no paper-writing activity as previously hoped. That's alright, I'm sure to start work early tomorrow, what with having Wednesday mornings off these days...w00t! One other item on the agenda, however--which has been in my good intentions for weeks, incidentally enough--is letter writing! (Especially to sweet Zoe, who I now have received 2 consecutive letters from, without adequately responding to either. Not Kosher!!)
But yes, all that for another day. (Namely, tomorrow.) For tonight, I'm off to bed, off to bed. It's like dried mango, see. That same part of me that buys loads all at once, reasoning that it'll last longer, seems also to believe that going to bed early means waking up less late. At least potentially. And so far, precedent to the contrary hardly seems to faze me at all, what with my undying faith in that very potential...my own? Ha!
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
This afternoon was actually a total wash: Mentally satisfying in that I cleaned and organized the whole freakin' mess of an apartment--but at the same time, no paper-writing activity as previously hoped. That's alright, I'm sure to start work early tomorrow, what with having Wednesday mornings off these days...w00t! One other item on the agenda, however--which has been in my good intentions for weeks, incidentally enough--is letter writing! (Especially to sweet Zoe, who I now have received 2 consecutive letters from, without adequately responding to either. Not Kosher!!)
But yes, all that for another day. (Namely, tomorrow.) For tonight, I'm off to bed, off to bed. It's like dried mango, see. That same part of me that buys loads all at once, reasoning that it'll last longer, seems also to believe that going to bed early means waking up less late. At least potentially. And so far, precedent to the contrary hardly seems to faze me at all, what with my undying faith in that very potential...my own? Ha!
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Monday, November 2, 2009
Fastforward: Day 68 to Day 72...
The most fabulous long weekend with Mike ensued--beginning Thursday morning and ending Monday morning (today). Halloween as Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, and some amazing stuff before and after. But I'm really in no position to detail the time here and now--gotta play the catch up game... (And it's totally worth it, make no mistake!)
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Day 67...
Shit! It's already 11pm here! Not having a morning class, I have to say that I still did very well getting up this morning, but somehow or other the day got ahead of me anyway. I blame the constant rain, thank you very much.
Just a heads up--my forearms are feeling very weak at the moment, so I do not take responsibility for the occasional tpyo of this here email. Today the manager of the climbing gym teetered herself up a 5.12 route...for those of you who don't know, that's downright god-like. (Er, goddess-like, in her case.)
What else? Turns out I've somehow managed to get myself involved as an intricate part of a new school organization presently still in its infancy. (And by 'intricate' I mean, showed uprevious postp to the meeting that ended up having only two other folks there--one of whom is the founder.) Thus, we rallied our forces and headed off to the SBA ('student body association') to beg for a lotta legitimacy, and a little bit a cash. We'll see what happens. The group has a highfalutin title of "Education and Law Policy Organization", and their main claim to fame is that Suspension Revocation Project I mentioned in a . Sounds neato, in my opinion, but now that this will be the 3rd student org I'm getting my hands messy with...well, we'll just see what comes of it.
Anyway, I have so much to do!! I gotta quit you now, sadly enough... 'Till tomorrow!
Faretheewell folks,
-LaW
Just a heads up--my forearms are feeling very weak at the moment, so I do not take responsibility for the occasional tpyo of this here email. Today the manager of the climbing gym teetered herself up a 5.12 route...for those of you who don't know, that's downright god-like. (Er, goddess-like, in her case.)
What else? Turns out I've somehow managed to get myself involved as an intricate part of a new school organization presently still in its infancy. (And by 'intricate' I mean, showed uprevious postp to the meeting that ended up having only two other folks there--one of whom is the founder.) Thus, we rallied our forces and headed off to the SBA ('student body association') to beg for a lotta legitimacy, and a little bit a cash. We'll see what happens. The group has a highfalutin title of "Education and Law Policy Organization", and their main claim to fame is that Suspension Revocation Project I mentioned in a . Sounds neato, in my opinion, but now that this will be the 3rd student org I'm getting my hands messy with...well, we'll just see what comes of it.
Anyway, I have so much to do!! I gotta quit you now, sadly enough... 'Till tomorrow!
Faretheewell folks,
-LaW
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Day 66...
Hi there. Today was good--packed full from early morning to late night--but so far this week I've yet to find a stopping point. There's always tomorrow for resting, right? Maybe not, but in my case, I don't have a morning class tomorrow, so i'm just gonna count on it anyway. What other choice do we have?
When it comes straight down to it, though, I've a light at the end of the tunnel--Mike's coming up tomorrow (!!) for the Halloween, as well as his birthday, weekend. And not only that, but the tunnel's not even as dark as you'd think! The posters I designed for school came out lovely, turns out, and all of my dayandnight homework/outlining moments did culminate into a madly successful study group session tonight, so I can at least for one tiny little instant feel good and accomplished. Still, knowing that this weekend it'll be Mike, the next it will be beautiful Katie, and then just one more before it'll be crazy Japan--I feel much better about being thoroughly stressed out now to get everything done, because I'm still earlier enough doing it all that I should be calm and able to be present when the good (er...better) stuff comes around. (Don't quote me on that: it's all 'better', right? But then where the heck's the sense in that?)
Anyway, that's all I's got for you (me), at least for tonight. Lovelovelove, all around.
Fareetheewell folk,
-LaW
P.S. I'm afraid Sierra's becoming one of those anthropomorphized pigs in Animal Farm: these days, she can't even sleep without a pillow... :-0
When it comes straight down to it, though, I've a light at the end of the tunnel--Mike's coming up tomorrow (!!) for the Halloween, as well as his birthday, weekend. And not only that, but the tunnel's not even as dark as you'd think! The posters I designed for school came out lovely, turns out, and all of my dayandnight homework/outlining moments did culminate into a madly successful study group session tonight, so I can at least for one tiny little instant feel good and accomplished. Still, knowing that this weekend it'll be Mike, the next it will be beautiful Katie, and then just one more before it'll be crazy Japan--I feel much better about being thoroughly stressed out now to get everything done, because I'm still earlier enough doing it all that I should be calm and able to be present when the good (er...better) stuff comes around. (Don't quote me on that: it's all 'better', right? But then where the heck's the sense in that?)
Anyway, that's all I's got for you (me), at least for tonight. Lovelovelove, all around.
Fareetheewell folk,
-LaW
P.S. I'm afraid Sierra's becoming one of those anthropomorphized pigs in Animal Farm: these days, she can't even sleep without a pillow... :-0
Monday, October 26, 2009
Day 65...
At around 11:30am today, Grandma Sue passed away. I feel immeasurably grateful that I was given the chance to see her a few weeks ago. At the same time, I realized when I saw dad's text message with the news that this would be one of those truths that take a long time to learn how to believe. I'll miss her humor, her catawampus vocabulary, her keen curiosity for the things she marveled at in this world, her voice, her matter-of-fact politics, how consummately humble she was, her faith, her stories, and every warm knitted thing her hands created with such ridiculous ease...
I wrote a poem for her on my flight back that weekend, when we somehow managed to fill her house with the laughter and easy love of youth. Despite its being choppy and rough-drafted, I thought I'd post it here. (Cuz frankly, i don't dare change it now--so outside of its moment.)
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
I wrote a poem for her on my flight back that weekend, when we somehow managed to fill her house with the laughter and easy love of youth. Despite its being choppy and rough-drafted, I thought I'd post it here. (Cuz frankly, i don't dare change it now--so outside of its moment.)
paper-thin, the skin around your steady eyes. clear as ever but for seldom slips of memory. saturated by morphine--oxycontin--any kind of anti-emetic you're still able to choke down. surrounded by each generation you have in part created--but when I mention you refuse the credit and dwell instead on gratitude. you won't admit the miracle yet breathe life into these passing moments--being here now, wherever they might take you later.
looking at your fragile body, i think that we are different. and answering my thoughts, you tell me we're the same. how easily i believe you, too, like delving through a well-loved habit, lending strength on history alone. where i, loving you longer than my reasoning is old, can't help but trust your words. and holding your determined hand--any distinction of our brief conclusions can suddenly be damned.
-LaW
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Day 64...
A hard core outlining fool, that's me. I've spent nearly my whole day on the whole mess of this project, and it's really a continuous thing from here on out--at least until the end of exams. (They think they're so fancy, calling them exams instead of finals...bah!) I just hope I get enough good stuff into them before then! Scratch that: before Thanksgiving break, actually, because it looks like I'm going to Japan after all. Did I already mention that?
So anyway, i had this great scheme of a plan today: I was gonna get up and work just a little bit, but of course manage to get everything done and then some, probably before noon. Then I was going to take a few hours off before heading downtown (another one of those fancy words: 'downtown' rather than 'the city'--bah again!) to meet up with Amber from school in order to fit in a mini-study sesh of everything we've been working on for the past two months. This, I figured, would take about two hours or so. (Aren't I an efficient planner?! Nothing wrong with a little ambition, I always say.) And then finally, I would top off the night by heading over to Brooklyn, maybe grabbing a local beer, and watching the all-creative, all-original open mic night performers at Pete's Candy Store. It was gonna be suuuper mellllow, lemme tell you. Then, I'd come home by like, 9ish, and quickly do the fifty or so pages of tomorrow's dense reading, calling it a night by 11 or so.
So! Not bad, eh? How did this lovely agenda play out, you ask? Well, let's just say that it's 11 after 11 right now (make a wish!), and I've pretty much left the house for a sum of approximately 12 minutes. (Cuz I've got a dog, see, and she's got needs you know.) At least I know for sure that the sun came up today, but I couldn't tell you for how long... :P On the up side, I DID get a good amount done--but the problem with outlines is that a shit ton of hours don't typically add up to nearly the progress one would expect. Nor hope, i'm afraid. Thus: meeting with Amber on Tuesday instead; starting tomorrow's homework as we speak; and saving all my brilliant schemes for next weekend, since Mike is blessedly flying out. In the mean time: it's light at the end of the tunnel time, la gente!
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
So anyway, i had this great scheme of a plan today: I was gonna get up and work just a little bit, but of course manage to get everything done and then some, probably before noon. Then I was going to take a few hours off before heading downtown (another one of those fancy words: 'downtown' rather than 'the city'--bah again!) to meet up with Amber from school in order to fit in a mini-study sesh of everything we've been working on for the past two months. This, I figured, would take about two hours or so. (Aren't I an efficient planner?! Nothing wrong with a little ambition, I always say.) And then finally, I would top off the night by heading over to Brooklyn, maybe grabbing a local beer, and watching the all-creative, all-original open mic night performers at Pete's Candy Store. It was gonna be suuuper mellllow, lemme tell you. Then, I'd come home by like, 9ish, and quickly do the fifty or so pages of tomorrow's dense reading, calling it a night by 11 or so.
So! Not bad, eh? How did this lovely agenda play out, you ask? Well, let's just say that it's 11 after 11 right now (make a wish!), and I've pretty much left the house for a sum of approximately 12 minutes. (Cuz I've got a dog, see, and she's got needs you know.) At least I know for sure that the sun came up today, but I couldn't tell you for how long... :P On the up side, I DID get a good amount done--but the problem with outlines is that a shit ton of hours don't typically add up to nearly the progress one would expect. Nor hope, i'm afraid. Thus: meeting with Amber on Tuesday instead; starting tomorrow's homework as we speak; and saving all my brilliant schemes for next weekend, since Mike is blessedly flying out. In the mean time: it's light at the end of the tunnel time, la gente!
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Day 63...
Man! What is it about Saturdays that have them traveling at the speed of sound?! Basically, all I did today was rock-climb, write, and study--and somehow it passed by in a jiffy...
I hereby do solemnly swear to write more than five lines tomorrow night. Amen.
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
I hereby do solemnly swear to write more than five lines tomorrow night. Amen.
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Friday, October 23, 2009
Day 62...
Yawwwwn... Total self-care day--besides the school in the morning, of course. Got a buncha shit done, which was awesome, and cleaned my room a little bit too. Yay! I even went shopping for actual food, for the first time in three weeks! Good stuff, good stuff. The inspiration was a dish called "Butternut Squash Stir-Fry" that has onions and garlic and cashews and coconut milk in it. Sounds great, right? Well it's not, unfortunately. Fun to make though. :)
I also wrote a bunch tonight, but really need to get back to homework stuffs by tomorrow... But in the words of a dear, dear man: "Show me this tomorrow you speak of! Where is it now?"
Sorry for the lame rendition of my day. Oh! But I also got to video chat at length with lovely Ms. Jessica West, the proud new owner of a webcam. 'Twas marvelous stuff...and it reminds me, the rest of ya'll should get yourselves freakin' webcams by now. Don't you know you've got long-distance family relationships to keep track of!!?
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
I also wrote a bunch tonight, but really need to get back to homework stuffs by tomorrow... But in the words of a dear, dear man: "Show me this tomorrow you speak of! Where is it now?"
Sorry for the lame rendition of my day. Oh! But I also got to video chat at length with lovely Ms. Jessica West, the proud new owner of a webcam. 'Twas marvelous stuff...and it reminds me, the rest of ya'll should get yourselves freakin' webcams by now. Don't you know you've got long-distance family relationships to keep track of!!?
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Day 61...
Today is actually the first day that I didn't have all the reading done for classes... Sheesh! I'm such a slacker!! Proximate causes have something to do with staying up till 3 pseudo-doing homework, as well as other unrelated things, after not getting home until forever late. (Beejeesus! I was at school endlessly yesterday, and the climbed right afterwards, and then got home late and went to the diner with Laura cuz i was starving and nauseous with dehydration all at once... So it was crazy waking up this morning, by and by.) But good news: wasn't that big of a deal. Actually, for the first class we'd yet to finish the cases from the class before, so we hardly even scratched the surface of today's assigned reading. So basically, everyone else is off the hook for homework on Monday, whereas i get an extra weekend to do it. w00t! I'll take it. For Contracts, a little less of a relief since the reading in that class is known to be "a little heavy", but hey, at least i didn't get called on to do a random case that i hadn't finished reading. The trick is to raise your hand and talk a bunch on what little you do know, so when dear Prof gets to the stuff you don't know, he'll be so sick of hearing from you that he won't notice (or mind) your sudden silence. Which is not to say that they haven't caught on to your predictable scheming. :D
Anyway. I think i'll just arbitrarily stop here--since everything's all arbitrary in law and order anyway, and I'm keen to be an apt pupil. One last thing though: the day was a gorgeous one. Fall colors are pretty much just suddenly in bloom all over campus, and the sun today was fairly blazing. Compared with the rain and cold of recent times, I gotta say this for the East Coast--you sure do learn to appreciate the nice days.
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Anyway. I think i'll just arbitrarily stop here--since everything's all arbitrary in law and order anyway, and I'm keen to be an apt pupil. One last thing though: the day was a gorgeous one. Fall colors are pretty much just suddenly in bloom all over campus, and the sun today was fairly blazing. Compared with the rain and cold of recent times, I gotta say this for the East Coast--you sure do learn to appreciate the nice days.
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Day 60...
So highlight of the day? (Actually, the freakin' day just went on and on, even though I have to admit that it was damn nice not to have a morning class...of course, i pitter-pattered away my time by sleeping and pretending to do research when i finally got to school, just about an hour and a half class before my afternoon class anyway. Ah well!) Besides sickly rock-climbing and fantastical smiles spread amongst the wealthy and wicked alike (not sure who I'm referring to here, exactly, but I'm definitely stoked on the near-alliteration!), the big to-do (ta-dah?!) was a volunteer training that i attended called the Suspension Revocation Advocates. Fancy-sounding, eh? Actually, the cases are pretty simple: ever hear of the school-to-prison pipeline? The idea is that overpopulated and underfunded schools will more often than we'd like use the suspension of "trouble students" as a tool to basically kick them out of school, often instating suspension terms up to one-year long for minor infractions. (Who in their right mind WOULD go back to a school that did that to you?!) So, our job is basically taking on these kids cases and acting as their advocates during the superintendent hearing that accompanies the sentencing period, after a suspension has been requested by the school for the kid-at-question. Pretty cool work, sounds like, and mostly straight-forward as far as cases go. But great hands-on practice, do be doing them directly!
Okay, that's all i got. Actually, that's kinda too much... My bad!
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
Okay, that's all i got. Actually, that's kinda too much... My bad!
Faretheewell folk,
-LaW
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