Day 251: Fifteen minutes till procrastination becomes abomination.

("Baby don't look so nervous, they just want the facts, and it's all written out in the USA Patriot Act..." -A.M.)

Speaking of which, do you have any idea how many laws there really are in this here free country of ours? Something like "hundreds of thousands", and of those over 4,000 are crimes. Craziness? In Sweden there is a single volume containing the entire criminal code of the country. Of course, there's quite a size difference between the nations...but should that make a difference in determining the scope of crimes against society?

And what of the danger of becoming lost in the massive mountains of volume upon volume of statutes? Do you realize that not only is it virtually impossible for a person to live out their life in America WITHOUT breaking at least one of these laws--but even more ridiculous is the tiny percentage of people who ever actually recognize that they've done so. Isn't this a little bit silly? (To walk the line of the inarticulate!) What I mean is, what's the point of such heavy regulation when it hardly keeps people from committing crimes? The result is just that whenever someone who gives a shit happens to come across a person who happens to be committing a random little arbitrary crime without even realizing it, well, the Government gets to spend (strike that: all but HAS to spend) our nice, neat tax dollars to persecute the poor sucker. Cuz after all, "ignorance of law is no excuse"...

But anyways. When it comes down to it, i have two weeks from today to slalom through to the end of my final exams of my final quarter of my first year of law school. And what have i to show for it? An overinflated sense of importance imbued on four otherwise inconspicuous mornings, and a disproportionate amount of stress aimed at these ephemeral days and the tests they represent--rather than at the reality of the mess of law represented by the tests themselves, and the fact that i myself am bound to adhere to the content of each one, and so much more besides. As are most of you, I imagine. And the difference? Maybe just that I'm learning how to name all of those old, nameless worries...

Nah. It's mostly just me being dramatic, I'm sure. And uncharacteristically stressed out. Well, not that, exactly... More like uncharacteristically recognizing the dire need to let the stress come, for to induce action. But instead I'm just watching it brood out there on the outskirts of my daily life, as we count down toward (clear) transition. And like always it's just me, just here, still saying to it 'tomorrow'. "Tomorrow you can come riddle me some! Today I'm too busy listening to the loveliness of these sad songs..."

("And my body, by the letter of the law, is still my own when I lay down in the darkness, unburdened and alone..." -A.M.)

Faretheewell folk,
-LaW

Where are we now...Day 232 or so? Shit! But who the heck gives one, anyway?

And so it's way deep into the bowels of this experience. April, now, and 11th to be sure. How did we get here from there so quickly, I wonder? Not November by any means, but rather watching the coming of the Spring sneak forward. And oh how we can tell its arrival out here! From the rising temperatures of 67 to 91 in the space of three measly hours! To the bloom of green affording us a wonderland that has nothing to do with Winter, anymore. Sigh... If only the soft sweetness of superficial (change) were enough for me, now...

But it's not. And I daily strive further on to complete what I've started nearly a year ago, somehow. i know I'm jumping the gun, but it feels so much longer than that anyhow! Last week brought me dizziness in perpetuity, as I'd never been courted before. 'Twas frightful!! And today, since Tuesday, was the first that it's left me abandoned at last--and need i even say 'grateful' at all? Well I'm grate-fuckin'-ful, for sure. (Note for the concerned or curious public: don't underestimate dehydration, even when wine or liquor look you in both of your watery eyes...)

I'm applying for transfer to schools in California. It's not that I don't appreciate the exhaustion of newness--it's just that it'll only take me so far. And lately I've been thinking I'm already there. So as far as stints go...let's all vote for this one to nearly be over! (Happily so, but good riddance, regardless.)

Faretheewell folk,
-LaW